Just thought I’d check in really quick.
Everything is going great. I had an ultrasound last week to check on my placenta and low and behold it has moved up and out of the way so I’m clear for a vaginal delivery. And the best part of that day was seeing our little dude again! Oh my has he grown. We got to see him in 3D and it was AMAZING! His features were so clear (clear enough that I could already see resemblances to K and I) and he was moving around like a maniac! He had his eyes wide open and we could see him looking around – so, so unbelievably awe-inspiring. I can’t wait to meet this young man!
Other than that I’ve been feeling pretty good. Still a bit pukey but not too bad on most days. My blood pressure has been great, I passed my glucose tolerance test…all in all, everything is great and I have zero complaints.
The one thing that’s caught me off-guard a few times lately is the question many people seem to ask (not being aware of our struggles for the most part)…”are you going to have more children?” It always throws me for a loop and I feel a little unprepared to answer. So I usually just respond, “Probably not,” to which some people seem to feel the need to justify our ‘decision’ to only have one child. And then, I usually feel both a little sad and then a little guilty. Why guilty you ask? Well, because I truly feel like we’ve won the jackpot. After everything we’ve been through…six years of this…I know how very, very, very fortunate we are to have this little guy on the way. Believe me…you have no idea how grateful I am. But I also wish, on some level, that we could have another child. More so for him than us. And then I feel guilty because I feel like I have no right to wish for anything more…I’ve already won the lottery of a lifetime. But as guilty as it makes me feel, I can’t help but feel saddened by the fact that someone else had a hand in our chances at having more children. Had my hydrosalpinx been dealt with earlier and we not wasted so much time on treatment without realizing that the treatment never really had a chance with the hydrosalpinx in place, maybe just maybe we would have been able to give our little miracle a sibling. But, alas, this is what life has handed to us and whenever that little twinge of sadness hits, I just feel my belly and thank my lucky stars for the beautiful gift we have been given. This little guy will have more love than he will know what to do with.
Hope all is well with all of you. Until next time.
Hello ladies! It has been a LONG time since I’ve posted. No real reason, except that I haven’t had a ton going on and I’ve been trying to keep a promise to myself to not obsess over all things IF-related. It’s been going well. (I have been following you ALL faithfully, however!)
Hmm, so what’s new…what’s new?
Well, I finally started my Depot Lupron treatment this week. I had my first injection on Tuesday. Not much to report in terms of side effects so far. I hope it’s this easy the entire two months but I know it’s still really early. A gal can dream though, right?!
I received my FET calendar yesterday. Looks like transfer will be sometime around the end of July so still awhile to go. I’m OK with waiting though. We’ve waited this long, what’s a few more months. Plus, I’ve been really watching my diet lately and hope to drop a few pounds before transfer. I want to be in the best possible shape when I’m reunited with my precious embies so a few extra months is OK by me.
One thing that is causing me to lose a little sleep is this whole antihistamine protocol. I think I talked about it in my last post and some of you addressed it, but I still don’t know what to do. I’m not worried at all about the possibility of weight gain (which I talked about in my last post) but I can’t stop thinking about Dr. M’s warnings of possible birth defects. She did say that they have not seen any cases of this at CCRM but that there have been reported cases of birth defects (she specifically mentioned cleft palate) in babies born to moms on prednisone. I know that the dosage for the antihistamine protocol is low but it still has K and I worried and wondering what to do.
There are pros and cons obviously. The only con is the issue mentioned above. The pro is obviously that there is a belief that it may help the body to not reject the embryo. The main reasons that I asked Dr. M about it (she didn’t bring it up, I did) and am considering it are that:
1. I’ve miscarried before. Now we don’t know anything about the causes of that miscarriage. It could have been due to a chromosomal abnormality in the fetus, could have had to do with my hydrosalpinx…who knows.
2. Another CCRM patient stated that Dr. M advised her to try the antihistamine protocol for her second FET because the first (of a chromosomally normal embie) was unsuccessful and she had felt cramping throughout her entire TWW, beginning basically right after transfer. I’ve experienced this in the past after transfers – cramping beginning basically right away and lasting throughout the TWW.
I know the decision ultimately comes down to least regrets. Which decision will lead to the least regrets but that’s the problem…I don’t know.