Just thought I’d check in really quick.
Everything is going great. I had an ultrasound last week to check on my placenta and low and behold it has moved up and out of the way so I’m clear for a vaginal delivery. And the best part of that day was seeing our little dude again! Oh my has he grown. We got to see him in 3D and it was AMAZING! His features were so clear (clear enough that I could already see resemblances to K and I) and he was moving around like a maniac! He had his eyes wide open and we could see him looking around – so, so unbelievably awe-inspiring. I can’t wait to meet this young man!
Other than that I’ve been feeling pretty good. Still a bit pukey but not too bad on most days. My blood pressure has been great, I passed my glucose tolerance test…all in all, everything is great and I have zero complaints.
The one thing that’s caught me off-guard a few times lately is the question many people seem to ask (not being aware of our struggles for the most part)…”are you going to have more children?” It always throws me for a loop and I feel a little unprepared to answer. So I usually just respond, “Probably not,” to which some people seem to feel the need to justify our ‘decision’ to only have one child. And then, I usually feel both a little sad and then a little guilty. Why guilty you ask? Well, because I truly feel like we’ve won the jackpot. After everything we’ve been through…six years of this…I know how very, very, very fortunate we are to have this little guy on the way. Believe me…you have no idea how grateful I am. But I also wish, on some level, that we could have another child. More so for him than us. And then I feel guilty because I feel like I have no right to wish for anything more…I’ve already won the lottery of a lifetime. But as guilty as it makes me feel, I can’t help but feel saddened by the fact that someone else had a hand in our chances at having more children. Had my hydrosalpinx been dealt with earlier and we not wasted so much time on treatment without realizing that the treatment never really had a chance with the hydrosalpinx in place, maybe just maybe we would have been able to give our little miracle a sibling. But, alas, this is what life has handed to us and whenever that little twinge of sadness hits, I just feel my belly and thank my lucky stars for the beautiful gift we have been given. This little guy will have more love than he will know what to do with.
Hope all is well with all of you. Until next time.